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Joke of the Day

"Mommy mommy why do I keep running around in circles? ""Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."" In the 80s, my mother thought this was hilarious."

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"My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology... ...Yet he is the one hooked to life support."
"Geico could probably save you more than 15 percent if they stopped spending 95 billion dollars on advertising."
"Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up."
"What do you call Batman who skips Church? Christian *Bale*"
"How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)"
"If your Uncle Jack was on an Elephant.... Would you help your Uncle Jack off the Elephant?"
"2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice It blows. (Get well soon Carrie)"
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"What's a Jihadist Muslims least favorite sex position? The Eiffel tower"