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Joke of the Day

"A better name for everything bagels would be '3-5 things bagels'"

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"Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the bathtub."
"I bought a used UPS truck. It gets poor gas mileage but I can park anywhere."
"Used a bag to pick up dog shit in yard, tiny ants all over it. Later, saw 2 ants on my arm. My body is now crawling w phantom dogshit ants."
"People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food"
"What's the favorite whiskey of Unidan? Jackdaw Niel's"
"The fridge is a clear example that what really matters is what is inside."
"What does Joe Biden say as he is leaving his house? Biden"
"what would happen if all the rattatas died? They would be eraticated"
"I want to start a club for unmarried professional women who want to meet other unmarried professional women and dance booty dances. We are gonna call it Nee Twerk."