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Joke of the Day

"Used a bag to pick up dog shit in yard, tiny ants all over it. Later, saw 2 ants on my arm. My body is now crawling w phantom dogshit ants."

"How does R. Kelly respond when girls ask for a rating on a ten scale? Urinate"

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs."

"My tablet burned me today after I installed Tinder on my Kindle Fire."

"Its best to put your phone on some rice when its wet Asian people will come at night and fix it"

"What did the pink panther say when he stepped on an ant hill Dead ant dead ant Dead ant Dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead aaaaant"

"What do you call a socialite stripper? a peeler of the community!"

"I do not discriminate between white-collar and blue-collar workers Because I am collar-blind."

"My penis refused to give me any jism... Finally, I just had to beat it out of him."

"Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!"