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Joke of the Day

"I just want to be rich enough that I don't have to watch DIY videos on YouTube every time something in my house breaks."

"I asked my wife if she wanted to watch a movie with Matthew McConaughey... She said it's not a Matthew McKindaDay."

"Boob Job What do you call the space between a woman's enhanced breasts? Ans: Silicon Valley."

"Any question can be a rhetorical question if you walk away fast enough."

"I am currently upset at my mom for having me. I didnt ask to be here. Now I have all these damn bills."

"TIL of a man who masturbated in public for 16 hours straight before police arrived. He was wrist strained."

"Being stuck in the"" friend zone"" is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired."

"What hand do you wipe with? Answer: left or right Response: why not use toilet paper?"

"A keytar walks into a bar... And the barkeeper tells him: 'Get lost, we don't serve your type in here...' 'Why not?' ask the instrument. 'Well, you're obviously off your rocker.'"

"How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5"