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Joke of the Day

"Being stuck in the"" friend zone"" is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired."

"I think my husband is psychic! ""Honey, what do you think of this outfit?"" {from other room} ""You look great!"""

"The new pool lifeguard was talking to his boss about his experience so far ""There's an exceptional amount of friendly people here. It's been at least seven who has waved at me."""

"Whats 1+0? Babies"

"You do realize that if you save yourself for marriage, you'll only have sex like three or four times ever?"

"What does a mod do in their spare time? [Deleted]"

"The worst analogy ever is like pudding."

"What's the difference between an 115 year old man and a 46 year old woman ? sixty-nine"

"Why did the punctuation mark have such an easy time going out with other punctuation marks? It was a comma dating."

"*walks into hospital carrying baby* ""What's your return policy on this thing?"""