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Joke of the Day

"Sleeping guy on the bus has a laughably obvious boner. And now he's waking up. And now he's tweeting about it."

"What did the zero say to the eight? Where'd you get the cool belt?"

"Why doesn't George R.R. Martin have Twitter? Because he would just kill off all 140 characters."

"Did you know that when you meet an Indian you can CHOOSE not to mention slumdog millionaire?"

"Where does a cow go when he is so upset he doesn't feel like talking? A moo'd specialist."

"So a pregnant patient came in to the hospital after a 'huge gush of fluid'... So I asked if el nino or la nina was coming."

"bought 30 treadmills & placed them around the perimeter of house, when zombies attack my house they will just keep walking for days"

"Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel."

"Where do ghoulies go to on the day before Halloween party? To the boo-ty parlour."

"They played The Shins while I was in Whole Foods today and I leveled up in Caucasian."