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Joke of the Day

"Guy comes to my door and asks if I want to be a Jehovah's Witness I said, ""Hey man I didn't even see the accident"""

"Fun prank: brand your boss with the mark of the beast so he becomes a mindless demon slave wandering the earth killing in the name of Satan"

"Around my neighborhood I'm affectionately known as ""Please stop taking pictures of my flowers you weirdo."""

"Why was Hitler doomed to fail? because jew wrongs don't make a riech"

"what's the best part of... Having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"Apparently, I've got Rationalitis. I wouldn't know if it weren't for the check-up; it's asymptotic."

"Doctor's wife was told she was terrible in bed. After coming home late, the Doctor accused her of cheating. She responded, ""I wasn't out cheating, I was out getting a second opinion."""

"*presses wheelchair accessible button* *rolls 5 year old in on dolly restrained like Hannibal Lector* ""We're here for a haircut."""

"I put a crippled guy above my infants crib He was a-mobile"

"What's red and hangs from the ceiling? A red ceiling hanger! What's blue and hangs from the ceiling? [you reading this] I don't fucking know, a blue ceiling hanger? No asshole, they only come in RED!"