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Joke of the Day

"The government closed my non-profit clean needle exchange because we were just wiping 'em off with an old rag."

"What does a ghost pick out of his nose? Boo-gers"

"Our kids lost all the Monopoly pieces so we use a cigarette butt, a high-heeled shoe, a rotten molar, and a loaded handgun."

"Give me the best joke you have"

"Don't necessarily nominate me for sainthood, but I just gave a VERY ugly woman directions."

"[diner] ME: I'll have the eggs, please WAITER: how would you like those? ME: painted and hidden for me to find, thank you."

"Today on ""Dora the Explorer"", Dora and Boots learn there are some places they can't explore when Map leads them to an armed border patrol."

"Selling a french WW2 rifle Never fired, only dropped once."

"They say in New York somebody gets stabbed every 15 minutes, poor bastard."

"*Cookie Monster finishes cookie, looks into camera* ME WANT TO TALK ABOUT ISRAEL"