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Joke of the Day

"SON: Mom, Grandma is so annoying, I wish she will just die. MOTHER: Idiot, it's your mother that will die, not mine."

"Why do Fencers avoid posting on reddit? They are afraid of the Reposte."

"curiousity killed the cat but it also got my penis stuck in the vacuum"

"What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends? Hang at home."

"So a patient walks into my therapist office... [INFORMATION PROTECTED BY THE HIPPA]"

"What are 3 words that men hate during sex? *""Honey*, I'm home!"""

"In Scotland we have a saying-""If ye cannae clackit ye widnae brackit."" Nobody knows what the fuck it means."

"One of My Ex's was absolutely beautiful. But, it didn't workout because all she wanted to do was SWING. I miss third grade."

"there's two types of people inthe world: cops who are a week from retirement and robbers who want to go straight but have to do one last job"

"""What attracted you to our company?"" Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work"