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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump has Muslim friends, Rick Santorum has gay friends, Ted Cruz has imaginary friends. #GOPDebate"

"So a German installs a bath around his desk... BADUMTISCH"

"I just got arrested for using my iPhone It looks like I'm going to Face Time"

"I bet male porn stars don't find themselves in tight spots very often."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram!"

"Why can't Helen Keller drive.... Because she's a woman."

"I got into a fight against three people earlier and managed to knock one out... In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best time to masturbate."

"Walked into a spider web and did an hour of tai chi in five seconds."

"A pregnant teen and her baby is thinking the same thing... ""My mom is gonna kill me."""

"This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer"