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Joke of the Day

"I got into a fight against three people earlier and managed to knock one out... In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best time to masturbate."

"If you plug in a toaster and take it into the bathtub with you, it will get rid of your hiccups."

"Bad puns are the best puns How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire? He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*."

"What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale? ""It was an absolute steal!"""

"I think I'm gonna fail my Women in Islam class The course covers everything"

"I've pre-planned my funeral to include a 32 minute montage of the times I've accidentally waved hello to someone waving to someone behind me."

"What do people and jellybean have in common? No one likes the black ones"

"While standing in the queue looking at my phone... I'm online online"

"Did you hear about the award winning scarecrow? He was out standing in his field."

"I should've been a sniper. They get to lie around all day and hardly lift a finger."