154523

Joke of the Day

"Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!"

"What is an epileptics favourite food? Seizure Salad"

"How to lose 12 lbs in 7 agonizing seconds: Step 1: Make sure the wood chipper is all gassed up."

"Where do guys go when they want to get their penis sized and fitted? The Cocktailor."

"My Aunt Used to Drink 13's It's the Polish version of the seven & seven. Source: my dad... Not sure if he made it up or what but made me laugh."

"What's ET short for? Because he's got little legs."

"Laziness Level: I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries"

"What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo."

"A Muslim, A Christiana and a Jew walk into a bar, The Muslim blows up the place before anyone could say anything."

"I smelled alcohol and got all excited then realized it was only hand sanitizer."