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Joke of the Day

"huh? ""razzleberry is a mixture of raspberry and blueberry jam *puts mouth closer to drive thru speaker* either you have it or you don't"""

"Why did Angela Merkel ban use of crabgrass lawn treatments? She was told they would stop the ""German nation"""

"Don't you hate people that answer their own questions? I do."

"TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM costume party Oops wrong sub"

"If you can be Batman, always be Batman Some people are Jewish, some are Arabs, but I prefer to be Christian Bale."

"What's the password to Forest Gumps laptop? 1forest1"

"If I could be in 2 places at once, I'd mainly use it so I didn't have to leave my bed during the night to go for a wee"

"Money can't buy you happiness? Well, poverty can't buy you anything."

"I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10."

"So I realized why the large iPhone is called the 6 plus If you sit on it, you'll realize is actually a 3+3."