199067

Joke of the Day

"I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10."

"I turned into a cat earlier. Don't ask meow."

"If I give you breakfast in bed just say ""thanks"" Not ""who are you"" and ""how did you get in here"""

"Just got some good news from my financial planner ...she told me I'd only have to keep working 3 years after I die to afford my retirement."

"What did the retarded kids call there rock band? Syndrome of a Down..."

"How does Jesus like his hotwings? Tinder and Mild."

"My friend told me that recycling is good for the environment Not on Reddit, apparently. I got downvoted a lot..."

"I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20."

"Your mother has the prettiest teeth I ever came across."

"If an illegal immigrant got into a fight with a pedophile Would it be called Alien vs Predator? Edit:I honestly was unaware that this joke had been done before. Not a big robot chicken fan. My bad"