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Joke of the Day

"[crime show] DETECTIVE: It looks like the guy that inserts dramatic music into our show has been.. *Flintstones theme song plays* Murdered"

"A man is asked why he can't see the Fifty Shades of Gray movie... He replies, ""I'm color blind and can only see 36 of them."""

"Russian History in five words ...And then things got worse."

"My Girlfriend told me that if I bought her any more stupid gifts, she would burn it! So I bought her a candle!"

"Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite."

"All who believe in Telekinesis.... All who believe in Telekinesis raise my hand."

"Twitter is like a conversation at the water cooler. If the water cooler was full of vodka. And you could smoke. And the boss was out of town"

"Why are babies always gurgling with joy? Because it's a nappy time."

"Life is like children underwear Short and full of shit"

"What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt? ""That's a waist of paper!"""