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Joke of the Day
"Maybe I'm not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule"
Next Joke
"Are you today's date? Cause you're 10/10."
"Did you hear about the guy from Parks & Rec who crashed his plane? It was comic Aziz."
"Just finished the first chapter of this novel. Tons of characters with the same name and really hard to follow. Sir, that's a phone book."
"I thought reverse psychology was when.. you made your therapist cry"
"Seals are just dog mermaids."
"She was only a whiskey maker... ...but he loved her still."
"What do you call trees that grow in Tobago? Tobogany."
"Poop Patties What did the fry cook do when he found out they were making the burger patties with feces? He flipped a shit."
"What does a man eat when he cannot run off with his girlfriend? Cantaloupe"