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Joke of the Day

"What did the bee say to the naughty bee ? Bee-hive yourself !"

"I once borrowed a pro-life campaigner's laptop. The desktop was filled with accidentally-created New Folder icons."

"My favourite joke at the moment... How do you get an elephant in to a plastic bag? First you take the 'T' out of 'Tesco', what do you get? Esco. Then you take the 'F' out of 'Weigh', what do you get?"

"Why do Indians hate snow? It's white and it's on their land."

"Sure, I'd love to Skype with you. Just hold on a sec while I brush my hair and undergo various cosmetic surgery procedures."

"I just saw 2 blondes walk into a bar. You'd think after the first one did, the second one would have stopped."

"Petulant: (defn.) a cat or dog you let a friend borrow"

"How do you know if someone's a vegan? When you ask them ""Are you a vegan?"" and they say ""Yes""."

"What do you call a frog spy ? A croak and dagger agent !"

"When dealing with women, you can either be right or get laid. You can't have both."