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Joke of the Day

"Sure, I'd love to Skype with you. Just hold on a sec while I brush my hair and undergo various cosmetic surgery procedures."

"You gotta hand it to the blind prostitute. .. ..."

"""I'm not angry, just disappointed. You need to try harder. This is important! Do I make myself clear?"" ""Sorry, sir. Here's your ketchup."""

"What happened when two hydrogen atoms collided? The doctor had to heal-ium."

"Ghost cat: how'd you die? Ghost dog: i bit a guy that ran over my best pal and they put me down GC: i got hit by a car GD: I know GC: ilu"

"How many ears does Spock have? Three The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear"

"Putting a selfie on the top of your Christmas tree... ...because you're such a f**king star!"

"You treat your body like a temple? That's nice. I treat mine like a whorehouse above a liquor store next to a motherfucking Taco Bell."

"What do you call ghosts commiting bank robberies? The Polterheist"

"Why do porn sites have a share to Google plus button I don't want my friends to know I have Google plus"