115977

Joke of the Day

"Sure, I'd love to Skype with you. Just hold on a sec while I brush my hair and undergo various cosmetic surgery procedures."

"What we can say Black people are allowed to say the n-word while white people can't. But white people can say things that black people can't. Like ""thanks for the warning officer"" and ""hi dad"""

"A man walks into a bar... ...and screams ""Ouch!"""

"Why did Tim Tebow's mom protest against the Russian soup truck? It contained a borscht ton."

"The French are a very religious people... I talked to some of them, and they are all *Je suis* this, an *Je suis* that."

"A squirrel charged with murder, the detective ""did you do it?"", the squirrel ... ""no it was Nut me"""

"Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair? Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud"

"What kind of people should you stay away from? Trees. They're quite shady."

"My IQ came back negative."

"A girl asked me if I was a good cook. ""Does Meth count?"" probably wasn't the answer she wanted."