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Joke of the Day

"Judge: ""Micky, I can't grant you a divorce from Minnie Mouse, because she is not crazy"" ""I didn't say she was crazy Judge, I said she was fucking Goofy"""

"Why the chicken cross the road? To look for his cock."

"What do you call an unwanted sext? A molext."

"My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups... That's the last time I buy A Dell."

"I lost my mood ring... ...I really don't know how I feel about it"

"Here's two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke."

"Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet"

"If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, ""Did you mean Chuck Norris?"" It simply replies, ""Run while you still have the chance."""

"Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant? They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, ""That'll be $5"". I should be able to say, ""That'll be a sandwich."""

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. Guess they don't like random people coming up to their door."