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Joke of the Day

"Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet"

"If you eat a block of cheese and do a lunge, it should balance out, right? Actually, it was less lunge, more trip, but still."

"My wife looked different today then it dawned on me. Her mouth was closed..."

"Post the most offensive jokes you can think of The child abuser motto: hit them before puberty does"

"Why does Piglett smell nasty? He plays with Pooh."

"[""Platonic"" male friend rams car through my bedroom wall] I heard you broke up with your girl. You ok? Ready to give men a try now?????????"

"How did the french guy feel when he got hit by a piece of bread? He felt pain."

"What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving? For me it's three weeks."

"How do you exorcise a demon? Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming."