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Joke of the Day
"Here's two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke."
Next Joke
"A spider jumped on my wife which made her stumble backwards and fall over her bag. Oh how I laughed! Tweet posted from the guest bedroom."
"Whats the only thing more White Supremacists then hardcore Rednecks The Oscars"
"Okay body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the ""energizing"" claims. You're soap."
"I predict that Obama's next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea."
"Whenever my children question my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that their mother is older than the Internet."
"Ummm yeah I want one of those phone case's where I can put my credit cards in with my phone so when I lose my phone I'm also broke. Genius!"
"Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor."
"How to kill your wife without consequences. Hah. Made you look."
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest it for being broke and they beat the room for being black."