154231

Joke of the Day

"The *real* reason Hitler lost the war. He forgot to put speed limits on his highways so the enemy vehicles could drive as fast as they wanted to."

"I'm going to make a movie about a guy in a turban who turns into a monster at night... ...it'll be called ""Hyde & Sikh""."

"How do you know if a girl is ticklish? Give her two test tickles."

"Ordering a decaf coffee is like ordering a picture of food"

"What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you're good. Fool me four times, WOW! Did you major in fooling?"

"I got 99 issues... And they are all collectable national geographics."

"People that don't tweet for months and then show up like nothing happened... Was it jail? I bet it was jail."

"My employees forgot about Cyber Monday. I won't rub it in. They look embarrassed enough when I walk by in my RoboCop suit."

"What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain? MUH SOGGY KEYS!"