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Joke of the Day
"My face is permanently frozen into this scowl. You were right, Grandma."
Next Joke
 
"Before I die, I'm putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames. My grand children will be so pwned."
"What do you call five black men having sex? A threesome"
"How did the sailor stranded on an island with a calendar survive a year? Eating the dates and Sundays."
"A cop pulled me over and said ''Papers...'' So I said, ''Scissors, I win!'' and drove off like a boss!"
"911 What's your emergency Me: I'm calling to complain about the quality of this cocaine 911: The police are on their way Me: Thanks"
"Why did Star Wars come out 4,5,6,1,2,3? Because in charge of sequence, yoda was."
"Since I started dating my girlfriend half a year ago I became a millionaire 6 months ago I was a billionaire."
"What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty!"
"There are 11 types of people in this world.. a) those that understand Roman numerals. b) those that don't understand Roman numerals."