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Joke of the Day

"""My computer just crashed"" is going to be a much more serious statement when self-driving cars are the norm"

"Why don't witches wear panties? They get a better grip on their brooms!"

"2 Types of People I Hate 1) People who make lists. 2) Hypocrites"

"What do you call a brown woman with a yeast infection? Beef Wellington"

"Sometimes I walk up to a plant and exhale carbon dioxide all over it. Did I save its life? Maybe. Am I a hero? That's for history to decide."

"You know what they say when you go black.... ....you're raising that kid by yourself."

"I love you all so much right now because alcohol."

"I seemed to have lost all my vegetable puns I hope they turnip somewhere"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7.938? It was being irrational."

"If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be so pissed."