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Joke of the Day

"""My computer just crashed"" is going to be a much more serious statement when self-driving cars are the norm"

"If an Elvis impersonator dies, doesn't he kind of become the best Elvis impersonator"

"I avoid being photographed at events held at my apartment complex. I don't need someone pointing to a picture and saying,""That's him."""

"What do you call a ""gay"" milkman? Dairy Queen."

"Hi I'm Charlie Brown, the depressed 10-year-old who can't kick a football. I'd like to talk to you for a second about insurance"

"What is an apt gift for a female porn star that collects vintage comic books? An issue of *Giant Sized Man-Thing*"

"There's no wrong way to eat a Reeses Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear"

"University.... Close to being unemployed but with your parents still being proud of you"

"I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don't actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad."

"Never go to a place that has burgers, sushi, chicken wings and donuts on one menu. Never."