229523
Joke of the Day
"There's no wrong way to eat a Reeses Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear"
Next Joke
"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before 1, 2 and 3 Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."
"What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas? (as told by my first grade daughter) They both have Sandy Claws. BOOM!"
"My leg brushed against the toilet in a Starbucks bathroom. Goodbye leg. You were a good leg."
"What do you call it when a guy fucks a girl and never calls her again? A hit and run"
"How do you call Kanye West's pizza? Cheezy Jeezy."
"Me: Why can't we feed the animals? Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*"
"I feel like Neil deGrasse Tyson would be the most annoying person in the world to watch Space Jam with"
"Girls are like dead babies... There's several in my basement"
"I like my sex just like my wifi.. I like my sex just like my wifi, slow and unprotected."