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Joke of the Day

"It was nice of Microsoft to put their name on Excel after satan created it."

"Getting a snowstorm today. They said it would start around noon, it's now 12:02, so already the meteorologists were wrong."

"He who laughs last is probably just really high."

"Frankly, I find that Blackberrys are insensitively named and I'm starting a petition to have them renamed African-Americanberrys."

"I wish my girlfriend went down as much... as the pound did last night."

"A man comes home from work and says to his wife, ""Honey, I'm thinking about ordering a strap-on dildo from Amazon..."" ""What do you think? Is that something you could get behind?"""

"What did the caveman say when he tried to have sex in his dark cave? I fucking rock."

"Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires."

"What do a tomato and a gay quadriplegic have in common? They are both fruits that are kind of like vegetables."

"This guy goes to the Olympics and sees a guy carrying a long pole. He asks - Are you a pole vaulter? Guy replies - No I'm German, and my name is Hans."