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Joke of the Day

"I was flirting with an Asian girl at a bar last night when I decided to ask for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629""."

"Commonwealth Games: Building unrealistic goals and dreams for British athletes going to the olympics since 1930."

"Los Angeles education Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare. The guns, the gangs, the drugs -- and I'm home schooling them."

"Carving a boob from a tree would be pretty cool Wooden tit?"

"""Dad, what do you think about abortion?"" --Ask your sister --But I don't have a sis..."

"If I haven't said something mildly offensive today I'm sorry and I promise to try harder"

"Married people always ask when you're getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery."

"How do you discipline a pet rock? You hit rock bottom"

"I think my virginity is growing back."

"I heard that Al Qaeda recently received substantial financial aid from an unknown person in South Korea. It seems the terrorists have Won."