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Joke of the Day

"Don't kiss today You're going to fast, it's only the first date"

"Accidentally picked out soothing paint colors and now my panic room is ruined."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... and the bar keep says: ""Hey, I've got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper replies: ""You have a drink named Bob?"""

"""Challlaaaaaah"" -hip hop rabbi"

"What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech? Someone who takes everything literally"

"best thread convo u came across Let em rip guys an gals"

"*12 pulls a gray hair out of my head* M: Wow, look at that! 12: Hang on. There's A LOT more! M: 12: Can I get paid for pulling these out?"

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? Because it's two tired. Edit: added ""because""."

"What are an idiot's last words? Hey, watch this."

"I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."