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Joke of the Day

"Dogs playing poker Why are dogs bad at poker? Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament? Because he's a Doberman."

"Why is it called a Mango? Because Mancome wasn't selling"

"What do you call a controversy surrounding toothpaste. Colgate."

"What did the second guesser with no self esteem say to Reddit? edit: nevermind..."

"BF went to text me ""almost there"" It came out ""almost dead"" So hungover, I wrote back ""thank god"" And now he arrived and things are awkward"

"An immigration officer asks a drunk man if he's Hungarian he says ""yep, but my name's not Arian"""

"How many Potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None."

"Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you"

"It's uncool to be religious. It's uncool to be atheist. If someone asks what you believe in just say Beyonce. It's the only way to be safe."

"The world is full of terrible people, but there's none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym."