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Joke of the Day

"Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'? Honey, you should have asked me last nightit was on the tip of my tongue."

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"How do you make stupid people click links? ..."
"I spent 2 hours at a gym looking angry with my arms crossed. The manager thought I worked there and gave me a raise"
"Everyone knows that lighting our farts is great, but when are we gonna be able to vape our farts?"
"I have been feeling down on my karma lately.. so I bought a horse and named her Karma. Upvotes for me and Karma-horse."
"[bank] I'd like to pay this into my account [empties pockets full of cat teeth] OMG I'm so sorry [takes card back] that's the wrong account"
"Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code"
"What's the difference between an oyster fisherman with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? The fisherman shucks between fits."
"Why are lawyers always buried 15 feet deep? Because deep down they're good people."
"What a gay guy's favorite type of medicine A Suppository."