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Joke of the Day
"An immigration officer asks a drunk man if he's Hungarian he says ""yep, but my name's not Arian"""
Next Joke
"How is learning to ride a bicycle and 9/11 alike? Because you never forget!"
"I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me."
"Sometimes when my dogs piss me off I put their leashes on them, then I sit on the toilet for 20 mins and make them watch."
"God I hate Mayweather it was like 90 degrees yesterday"
"You know how light travels faster than sound? That's why some people seem bright until they start speaking."
"How many niggers does it take to win a war? All of them."
"I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly."
"[accidentally calls teacher ""mom""] MY BRAIN: shit, play it cool. say something. ME: what's for dinner tonight BRAIN: what"
"My life sucks I've got a less-than-minimum-wage job, my best friend has no brain, my neighbor is an asshole, my boss is a stingy bitch, and the worst part... #I live in a pineapple under the sea."