153903

Joke of the Day

"What kind of tea does water make? Humiditea."

"My head is so big... When a girl sits on my face, she has room for the remote and a snack."

"A guy walks into a psychiatrist wearing saran wrap pants He says ""Doctor, I think I'm crazy"" The doctor says, ""Well I can clearly see your nuts"""

"You know those slices of American cheese you get from the supermarket? You're not going to be able to buy those anymore. Since Trump is going to make America grate again, apparently."

"I hate when I think of a great tweet and discover someone did it already. It's like that time I invented the wheelbarrow."

"Did you hear about the guy that was born without ears? Neither did he."

"I like to pride myself on knowing whether it's Ice Ice Baby or Under Pressure by the first bum bum bum badda dum bum."

"When I'm having a bad day, I like to think of Prince William, Prince and will.i.am introducing themselves to each other."

"Only 350 more followers until I casually mention the benefits of Amway."

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."