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Joke of the Day

"My wife tried to buy something online yesterday.... Anyone know how to get a credit card out of a floppy drive?"

"Why is it that when a woman sleeps with a bunch of men, she is a slut? But when I do it, suddenly I am gay?"

"I call my penis the bogeyman.. Because it's the reason children cry at night."

"[interview] My biggest weakness is that I'm too literal ""That's fine. Your resume looks good, welcome aboard!"" *turns to whiteboard* welcome"

"What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest!"

"Roses are red, Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's To get to the other side"

"Maybe you never should have domesticated your peeves."

"r/jokes would be a great fencer After all, it seems to be extremely good with reposts ((Works best spoken))"

"3rd eye: youre on drugs 4th eye: youre a nerd 5th-7th eyes: ??? 8th eye: you are now a spider 9th eye: spider on drugs 16th eye: nerd spider"

"What is in common between a napkin and a person? If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin."