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Joke of the Day
"Why wasn't Sean Connery standing? He had to shit."
Next Joke
"Thanksgiving dinner. So a housewife is preparing thanksgiving dinner when her husband comes in, and she asks, ""are you hungry, dear?"" And the turkey answers, ""no, I'm stuffed."""
"If I wear a wizard hat and robe to my cousin's wedding this weekend, I bet no one asks me if I'm next."
"Bear and Rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, Bear turns to Rabbit and says, ""Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit says no and Bear whipes his ass with Rabbit."
"Does anyone else have a girlfriend great enough to tell them that they have herpes? Well, me neither"
"My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw."
"If everyone was like you the human race would lose faith in the world."
"Valentine's Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I'm still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I'm not getting cheated on."
"Why did Jesus die on the cross? He forgot the safe word."
"The worst feeling ever is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are alcohol."