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Joke of the Day

"If everyone was like you the human race would lose faith in the world."

"My wife is: 1) Am amazing mom and a great friend 2) Still the most beautiful girl I've ever been with 3) Now following me on Twitter"

"Is the reason why all of the Pokemon professors are named after trees because They embark you on your journey?"

"I'm not a racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people."

"Whenever I have sex, my eyes water and I find it hard to breathe... The doctor says its the mace."

"Ernie's roommate asks him if he wants to go out for ice cream. Ernie refuses and proposes an alternative, but his roommate does not understand the response: Sherbert!"

"I choked on a carrot earlier and all I could think of is that a donut wouldn't have done that to me."

"Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors? If it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan"

"""Your mission... Should you chose to accept it..."" *Go to a bar you Hate *Put $50 in the Jukebox *Play nothing but Nickelback *Leave"

"What would an employee only entrance to a brothel be called in Westeros? A Hodor..."