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Joke of the Day

"So the woman sitting next to me on a plane with an infant in her lap looks over to me and asks, ""do you mind if I breast feed?"" And I respond, ""no thanks I already ate."" Too harsh of a dad joke?"

Next Joke
 
"How did the metal get the wrong idea? He was misled."
"Next time you prematurely ejaculate Just remember you probably still lasted longer than Ronda Rousey"
"My dentist said I have a very wet mouth. *Updates dating profile."
"""I shit you not"" - Yoda claiming dibs on the bathroom"
"Schools kind of like a penis.. long and hard, unless you're asian."
"How do you cover 18 holes with one hole? Have your mom sit down on a golf course."
"Boss: ""You're not suppose to be drinking on the job!"" Me: ""You're not suppose to cheat on your wife."" Boss: ""Keep up the good work sir."""
"Saturday in my 20's: ""Nice, this club is hot! gimme a Vodka tonic!"" Tonight: ""Nice, grocery store is empty, ooh I got coupon for that !!"""
"What do you call a band that comes out with a new song 12 times a year? Monthford and Son"