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Joke of the Day

"The news report was that an elevator for the coal shaft broke down, trapping 27 workers But it was just a miner inconvenience"

"ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT"

"Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of ""going to the gym in 2013."""

"What did the dentist witness after he gassed the rabbi? **jews laughter** The punchline is more of a visual joke, based upon where the reader places the ""s."" To my knowledge, this is an original joke."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"*narrows my eyes at you suspiciously* *keeps narrowing them* *closes them entirely* [naps]"

"What's a British student's favourite drink? M.I.Tea"

"A Spanish Magician says he will disappear on the count of three He said Uno Dos Then he disappeared with no tres (say it out loud to understand)"

"Why is everyone worried about meteors instead of the possibility that Russia just got their own Superman?"

"I took a poop in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."