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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a small petition? Petite (Basin Tss)"

"What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange? Check, mate!"

"Why do people call memes ""dank""? Because they release dopameme!"

"Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course no one pays the least bit of attention."

"i was baptized in a car wash"

"I always thought 007 had split personality disorder... When he's spying: James Bond. When he's chasing tail: James Boned."

"Guys, when she complains about something you didn't do, tell her about the things you did do. That will make everything ok! You're welcome!"

"How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? Your girl has to chew before she swallows."

"My fine art and fragrances business has failed. The perfumes sold well, but I didn't really know how to market the paintings I'd bought. I've got more Monet than scents"

"Looking for a friend with benefits. Preferably dental."