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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far, she's only getting a McChicken."

"whenever white girls are fighting and one of them calls the other ""hun"" during the argument world war 3 begins"

"My kitten is probably the most playful creature on the planet, but it's less cute when you realize it's all just bird murder practice."

"What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen"

"Knock knock! Come in."

"What kind of shoes to pedophiles wear? White Vans."

"Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up? A: ""Good morning Bill."""

"Tits are like Golf You just play the course you're on."

"I'm sick of this one horse town *moves to two horse town* No, no, this is too much"

"I like the alt-ending version of Se7en where there are donuts in that box and Morgan Freeman pulls a jug of cold milk out of his jacket"