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Joke of the Day

"My kitten is probably the most playful creature on the planet, but it's less cute when you realize it's all just bird murder practice."

"Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments? Because they were for test porpoise only"

"What do you use to transport pittas? A flatbread truck"

"You know what's odd? Numbers not divisible by 2."

"When adding number in your head... It's really the thought that counts."

"I remember when my grad father first got his pace maker Every time he would go to use the microwave he would piss his pants and forget who he was for about an half an hour or so."

"I changed my password to ""incorrect"". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say ""Your password is incorrect""."

"I woke up this morning to the maid beating on my door So I finally let her out."

"Why are all comic book readers drug addicts? They just can't resist the heroine."

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He looked at his gas bill."