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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend said to surprise him for his birthday so I moved all my stuff into his house while he was at work."

"When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed."

"What did Saddam Hussein have in common with Little Miss Muffet? He also had Kurds in his way."

"The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant.. I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence."

"What do you call an unconscious computer programmer? dfghjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj"

"Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo? A: Write 'pp espressivo'."

"I once farted in an Apple store... It's not my fault they don't have windows."

"I used to date a midget... I was nuts over her"

"What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus? An ambulance you racist bastard"

"Some say that Mexicans are bordering on the insane... But so what? So are Canadians."