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Joke of the Day

"omg this fire truck is being such an attention whore right now"

"What do fish use to get high Seaweed ;D"

"I was sad when I learned Steve Irwin died... .. but at least he died the same way he lived: with animals in his heart."

"I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set"

"I set my kid's dollhouse on fire then asked: DO YOU HAVE INSURANCE?! DOES BARBIE HAVE AN ESCAPE PLAN?! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! Life lessons"

"I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer."

"If a blonde and a brunette were tossed off a building together, who would hit the ground first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions."

"What does a white supremacist eat on their birthday? ........ A KKKake. I'll just see myself out now."

"(Interview) Says here on your resume that you're unpredictable. (I take a squirrel out of my pants dressed as Batman) ""That's a rumor""."

"""Be cool, be cool, be cool"" ~me before I'm about to not be cool."