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Joke of the Day

"Mission Impossible Six announced. Will be their hardest mission yet... Getting a job in this economy."

"- What's your cell phone? - iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that."

"What did that cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"What do you call an introspective monk? A deep friar."

"You know why I always use the lower urinal? The water's colder."

"tongued ellen told oprah on her show that ...she lost her first love to a well hung tongue oprah replied....gosh,that sounds like a mouth full"

"If Memes Were Horses 4chan would give birth to it. Reddit would kill it. 9Gag would hump its dead body. Facebook would dig up its corpse and attempt to turn its remains into Frankenstein."

"Rival Gang Leader: Me: Rival Gang Leader's mom: [nudges son] go on Rival Gang Leader: sorry I tried to shoot you"

"What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic"

"What did the cat say to the banana? Banana. .. What did the cow say to the banana? Banana. .. What did the goat say to the banana? Baaah- nothing. Goats can't talk."