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Joke of the Day

"What did the cat say to the banana? Banana. .. What did the cow say to the banana? Banana. .. What did the goat say to the banana? Baaah- nothing. Goats can't talk."

"Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury? A: When he's sworn in."

"[offensive] What do books have that Mexican's don't? Papers"

"Prince The artist formerly known as alive"

"space republicans decree: if alien lifeform implants a egg in ur face,u must carry it to term. perhaps wear a less enticing helmet next time"

"yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds."

"The hurt I feel when someone leaves the bus seat next to mine for a newly empty one is almost exactly equal to my annoyance when they don't."

"Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? It's two tired."

"Owning a selfie stick is a good way to tell people that you've driven all of your friends away with your narcissism."

"If someone upsets you, write a nasty letter and file it away before you say something you might regret. Then punch the person in the face."