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Joke of the Day

"You know why I always use the lower urinal? The water's colder."

"My foot just fell asleep, I'm terrified that drunk white people will notice and start drawing moustaches and penis' on it. #ILoveYallReally"

"I'm no scientist, but if that ebola virus is communicable, that means WE CAN TALK TO IT."

"I almost died last night. I woke up at 3am and MY FOOT WAS HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED. NOT EVEN UNDER THE COVERS."

"I've been trying to hide my erectile dysfunction from my girlfriend... But I just don't think I can keep it up for much longer."

"Why did the iguana get a prescription for viagra? For his reptile dysfunction."

"Saw a hawk swoop down over the highway and fly off with a snake in his mouth and I can't even switch lanes while eating a Twizzler."

"Russian Nursery Rhyme The incy wincy conrade Was tugging at his chain About rights of workers He complain The secret police Am get order to restrain And the incy wincy comrade was never seen again"

"What's the worst part about being gay? You cant think straight."

"What's the difference between Will Ferrell and a man with erectile dysfunction? One can... ""Get Hard"""