153282

Joke of the Day

"I've just seen a girl post a selfie with her dead grandma on facebook and thousands have commented ""rip"". Stop the internet, I wanna get off"

"A guy walks into a bar... It hurt."

"Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that's why we're getting a divorce and marrying you instead."

"My mother told me I was so good at arguing that I should be a lawyer. I said bullshit!"

"I was feeling down. My girlfriend told me to go somewhere that I haven't been in a while that would cheer me up. (NSFW) So I stuck it in her ass. I feel much better"

"I asked my friend ""Do you know any other word for a big rock?"" He said ""Boulder?"" I said **""Do you know any other word for a big rock?""**"

"When picking partners for a trust fall . . . . . . Always choose the ground. The ground will always catch you."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? [nsfw] The wheelchair."

"What's a pet's favorite day? ...Saint Petrick's Day"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers."