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Joke of the Day

"I love it when the playoff picture begins to develop in baseball. That means football is beginning."

"If you're a pregnant teenage white girl and you don't name your child Pumpkin Spice Latte you are wasting everyone's time."

"Shia Labeouf always looks like he's trying to teach math after someone just waved smelling salts under his nose."

"Who do ghosts worship? Boo, DUH!!!"

"Someone stole all the toilets from the police station downtown. The cops have nothing to go on."

"The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick' The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?' The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'"

"When I'm old, I'm gonna giggle uncontrollably, squirm, and go all sack of potatoes on my son when he tries to get me in the car as payback."

"If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream!"

"How many black guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one - you fucking bigot."

"How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler"