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Joke of the Day

"I lost 80 pounds a while back... British prostitutes are expensive."

"In 8th grade I had to take care of an egg to teach me responsibility. That egg hatched, and I raised the chicken as my own. He was delicious"

"A gaggle of geese. A murder of crows. A nope of laundry."

"Dead Babies What's worse than seven dead babies in a trash can? One dead baby in seven trash cans. What's your dead baby joke?"

"I paid for my meal at McDonald's with love. [NSFW] I pulled out some money and the cashier was like, ""no, let me see you fuck this Big Mac instead."""

"God I hate kids. And people. And animals. And sardines. And stuff that's alive. And stuff that's dead. I hate stuff. I like cheese."

"Wife Wanted! A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". Next day he received hundred of letters. They all said the same thing: [""You can have mine.""](/spoiler)"

"How do you keep an idiot busy for 3500 years? Give them a bible"

"Did you know that yeast cells are incestuous? They're in-bread."

"Did you hear about the circus fire? ...it was intents!"