153037
Joke of the Day
"To avoid looking at the glass as half empty or full, i drink straight from the bottle."
Next Joke
"Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone's house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper ""to go"""
"[gameshow] me: [visibly doing maths on my fingers] ""17"" host: [looks at me weird] ""that's wrong"" other contestant: ""salmon?"" host: ""correct"""
"My girlfriend is leaving me because I won't stop singing Linkin Park songs. I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."
"I come from a small town. I come from a town where the population never changes. Everytime a kid is born, some guy leaves town. Old Rodney Dangerfield..."
"Why do all blacks have acne? Because they all have black heads."
"How do weathermen get up a mountain? They climate"
"Sometimes I really miss you (my ex)... Then I remember I have a hand and the internet."
"Did you hear the one about the donkey and the sloth? Ultamate frisbee badger!"
"What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter."