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Joke of the Day

"I was banging a retarded girl last night... She didn't want me to finish in her mouth, so I shot my load on the window and let nature take its course."

"What do you call five black man having sex? A threesome."

"How do you confuse Helen Keller? You tell her to read a basketball."

"I propose we rename our seasons: Blizzard Flood Oven Kinda Nice For A Bit"

"This new digital camera says the shutter speed is so fast you can photograph a hummingbird's wings, or a woman with her mouth shut."

"Why is Flint MI famous for it's sandwiches? They have the highest Pb : jelly ratio in the midwest!"

"If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picking out gifts."

"I heard that processed meats are just as bad for you as cigarettes so I'm walking around smoking a hot dog looking cool as hell."

"I saw two guys having a fight on the train. So, being a bouncer, I dealt with the situation accordingly. I just stood there looking like a cunt."

"There's a banana and a vibrator on a table... The banana turns to the vibrator and asks: ""Hey, why are you trembling? It's not *you* they're going to eat!"""